|
Saturday, March 31, 2007
I miss this old blog. I do. I felt more free here. The Orble thing just isn't working out for me, and honestly I feel stuck. Sometimes I feel like I'm fooling myself. Me? A writer? I don't know. I read through my stuff, and I feel I've got something, but what? Maybe I got a whole lot of nuttin' honey, and that saddens me.
I think the hardest part is that finally finding something that makes me happy, and I always said if I found something that makes me happy, I'll do it. Then I got this fantabulous idea that I would WRITE and MAKE MONEY and I think somewhere along the way. I think that's the problem. I knew it couldn't be THAT easy, and it hasn't been. I love writing about my day to day life, but those entries on Orble are not the ones people look at. Sure, I have a small following, and 200 hits a day is nothing to scoff at, but it's stayed at 200 hits for months now. I am grateful to those 200 people that read, but I'm not moving forward.
The fact is, I love my kids, and I want to talk about them. I want to sing their praises and grumble their antics.
I have this thing in me that wants to be..... lauded? Liked? Ok, ok, popular.
Posted by S ::
11:45 AM ::
3 Comments:
 
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Posted by S ::
10:05 AM ::
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Friday, October 13, 2006
Moving on!
Here's the link to my new blog
http://www.furiousbits.com/
I'll more than likely keep up with this one, to bitch about shit I don't want others to read about. ;)
I think I need to come up with a code phrase or something, so that you all know when to check THIS blog if you decide to follow me to the other one.
Any suggestions? LOL
Posted by S ::
6:44 PM ::
1 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
It's been settled.
I've decided to name my new blog. Furiousbits.com although it hasn't been set up yet. Probably what I'll do is just continue THIS blog over there. I haven't decided yet. Or I'll keep my personal shit over here.
I'm having a pretty low day emotionally. Although, technically he wasn't looking at porn, I did find that Tony was looking at sexy pictures of girls on Myspace. He didn't contact any of them, but he did look at them, and that has bothered me to no end. He said he didn't think it was a big deal, to him it was like looking at a Sports Illustrated swimsuit catalog. Although I can see his point, it doesn't make me feel any better about myself today. I've cried off and on, and have slept a bit here in there to "escape" my hurt. I just feel low.
He said he honestly didn't think it would be an issue, and I believe him. He said that now that he knows it won't happen again. I told him my main issues with this was that 1. Myspace you can easily TALK to these people 2. He knew I had issues with MySpace to begin with. 3. He knew how disgusted I was with a friend of ours who has a lot of sexy women he met through Myspace as friends. 4. You don't even realize how quickly things can escalate to something inappropriate when you allow yourself to be in a situation like that.
It makes me wonder what it is I'm not giving Tony. Our sex life has skyrocketed since I started taking anti-depressants, even though I need more work in the orgasm department. We can't keep our hands off of each other, and yet, he needs to look at these girls. The only thing I can think I am NOT giving him, is the hot smoking body. I stole a Mouse Quote when Tony said that he tells me all the time he thinks I am hot and sexy, I said "Show me, don't tell me" Because if he tells me a billion times how hot I am, yet when he looks at girls online and they're all a size two, with big fake tits, and rock hard abs, that just negates the billion times he told me I was hot. If he was looking at big girls with saggy tits, and a stomach paved in stretchmarks, I'd believe him more when he tells me I'm hot.
He gets so mad when he tells me I'm hot and I say "Yeah right" but he shows me by his actions that maybe he doesn't believe what he says either.
Posted by S ::
6:05 PM ::
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Friday, October 06, 2006
So, I emailed Orble back.....
Hi Jasmine,
Thank you for offering me the domain blog. I am very excited, as I have found that I love to blog.
You asked for a topic, and if I had any interests and hobbies. I've thought about this and the thing that keeps popping into my head is the old addage "Write what you know" and this is what I know. I'm a stay at home mom, recently diagnosed with depression, with a spirited (re: pain in the ass LOL) six year old, a lovable two year old, married to a United States sailor. I have a messy house, a miserable lazy streak. I love video games, the Sims especially, and bad tv. I have a long list of internet friends, and a few good "real life" friends.
Even in my personal daily blog, I didn't write a lot of day to day stuff. I told ancedotal stories mostly. I like to be funny, and share my experiences of being all the above. I am hoping to be able to write like THAT in my Orble Domain Blog. But, if that will not fit I understand.
I liked the Modern Day Depressed mom blog, but found that writing about depression every day was.. well depressing, especially since I am so much more than that. I could write about being a militray wife, but I don't know how well that will go over with your readers.Any help with this will be greatly appreciated, Jasmine.
We'll see what she says. Like my friend Jenn says, if I'm going to blog, I might as well try and make some $$$$ from it.
Posted by S ::
9:09 AM ::
1 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Sooo.....
I got an email from Orble today saying that they would like to purchase a domain name for me, as they like my blog. That's awesome, but they asked what I would be writing about. Well, I kinda thought that's why I set up the free blog, was so they could see what I got going on.
So, now I'm stuck. Do I continue to write about my journey? I don't know. How much more can I write about that? Do I write about my marriage and my kids?
I am thoroughly confused.
Then I wonder... what if this is typical ole Sandi, quitting because it's tough?
I'm going to sleep on it tonight and ask some questions tomorrow. If anyone has any suggestions for me, I would LOVE to hear them!
On to more interesting topics.
Today at Aislinn's soccer game they put her in goalie. I thought she would be good at it and I was right. First Aislinn is really good at catching stuff. I know that sounds incredibly odd but it's true. She isn't girlie about it, she gets in there, full body and will catch whatever you are throwing at her 9 times out of 10. Also, she is good at throwing stuff up and kicking it. I watched her during one of the pregame practices, pick up various sticks and rocks, while she waited in line and kick them out into the field. Just one after another. We couldn't get her to kick the damn ball to save her life, but man she was kicking the hell out of those rocks.
Finally they put her in the goalie position, and she did amazing. She did let one goal through, but that was it, she blocked three. The last one she jumped on top of it, and had both arms and legs wrapped around it. She paid attention and everything. It's perfect because she gets to play, but she also gets to goof off when the ball is down on the other side. There's no running (her biggest complaint) and she doesn't get trampled by a dozen girls (second biggest complaint)
I was so proud I had to hold back tears a few times. Oh AND!! To see her SMILING!! OH God. I get a flutter in my chest just thinking about it.
And.... the ultimate.
On the way home she said "I might sign up for soccer again next year"
Wow.
Posted by S ::
11:13 PM ::
3 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I was eating lunch with the kids today (while Tony played Lego Star Wars on PS going on the 3rd straight hour) and we had a good time. They both finished before I did, and I sat there in silence, by the open window, enjoying the breeze while munching my lunch. This is something I don't normally do. I ususally have to have the kids there, or I have to have a book or a magazine. Before I started taking my meds, to sit in silence, and to just think was to much. I'd usually end up worked up about something, and unable to finish from anxiety of some impending doom I was sure was coming soon, or stressing over the fact that it was Saturday and that all our friends probably got together without us.
But, today I sat thinking about Christmas, and wondered what the kids would be like when they got older. I got Aislinn a camera for Christmas, and I thought how wonderful this would be for her, as she has taken some amazing pics with my digi. One I have tried to duplicate many, many times (A pic of the fish in our tank) and have NEVER been able to even come CLOSE to what she captured. She got a beautiful shot of the fish, the water is wavy, so the pic is wavy, yet the pics is clear. No blurriness. It was my wallpaper on the pc for a long time.
Anyway. I got to thinking about how my kids are a little loud, and a little obnoxious. How, I am ok with that, even though it can be tiresome and annoying. I realized the reason why this is fine by me is becuase I wish I could be the same way, as a child, and even now as an adult. To be able to be as loud, wild, and obnoxious as you want to be. IT's a great time of line to be able to do things without judgement from others.
Posted by S ::
12:30 PM ::
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
The wonder of Aislinn.
This morning, we got a catalog from LagoonaMagoo. It's a "fancy" toy store in our mall. It's the store where the parents that only buy organic food shop, You know the kind, they only allow their children an hour of tv a day, they wouldn't dream of subjecting their kids to commercialized toys, and heaven forbid, anything plastic! *Swoon from the thought of kids playing with PLASTIC toys!!* They feed their kids things like edemame and funny foods shaped from soy products.
The sad thing is, although I think feeding my kids meat is ok, and I think Tv is a great way to get them out of my face, I am of the mind of these parents when it comes to organic foods, and especially commercialized toys. Unfortunately, there is only ONE thing that seperates me from them. Money.
I detest the overly commercialized toys. The My Little Pony Castle that broke within moments of putting it together, the stupid Littlest Pet Shop that didn't work nearly as well as the commercial made it seem. The POOPING BARBIE DOG FOR CHRIST SAKE!! Need I say more?
It's always been kind of hard for Aislinn to be able to tell me what she wants for Christmas. She would latch on one thing, like last years Puppy Surprise, and then would be at a loss for anything else. She always looks through the big book o' crap, commonly known as the Toys R Us Christmas catalog. The one that makes your newspaper about 20 lbs heavier? She would look through there, and of course, she found things she liked, but nothing she ever really HAD to have. Getting her to tell me what she wanted for Christmas was like pulling teeth. Then she would tell me she wanted whatever toy that had a commercial on heavy rotation during commercial breaks on Spongebob. We would get that toy, and it would be played with the first few days , and then thrown in with the rest of the rejects, either broken or missing some major component that made it fun, or because it just didn't deliver what it promised. Then she would go back to her stuffies, and her sticks, and stones, her crayons and her scissors. She has more fun with a stick that she keeps out in the backyard that she uses as a horse, than she ever did with the Littlest Pet Shop. She enjoys her plastic bag tied to a string, than she ever did with her Spongebob kite. At least the plastic bag on the string actually flew. I've never seen a child more excited over a bag of marbles.
Back to LagoonaMagoo, this is a store Tony and I absolutely LOVE!! When we go to a movie at the mall, we make it a point to go in there. The only problem is... it's VERY expensive. The toys are of great quality though. You will not find anything with a character from a TV show on there. Oh wait, yeah they do sell Thomas the Tank Train stuff. Everything there is geared to making your kids imagine, create, build, draw, color, pretend. Things my kids are experts at. Even J has started to eschew commercialized stuff (well except Cars stuff of course) They want things that will make their imaginations soar.
I let Aislinn take the catalog and circle possible Xmas presents. Not ONE toy did I disagree with. I mean, ok I did cringe a little at the musical instrument set, but it was still a good choice. She picked a pogo stick, a two headed dragon, a make up set, a gorgeous kitchen set that doesn't od anything special (which she said was WAY cooler than our old one, a $100 monstrosity that makes noise and talks to you. It sits in our yard unused, and forgotten) a nice little doll house, a ton of science stuff, an ant farm, grown your own stalagmites, a microscope, a peacock puppet (for $45, that one will probably not make the cut, no matter how gorgeous) and just a bunch of stuff. I just felt an immense pride at the things my daughter picked out. The list was very eclectic and varied. She picked somet things that didn't really surprise me (the science stuff, the two headed dragon, the pirate treasure chest) but some of the things really suprised me. Especially this adorable little jewelry box with a dancing horse and the kitchen set.
Of course, I am not going to be able to afford most of this stuff. I'll probably see if I can find things relatively similar at Target or Wal MArt. I know Target has the kitchen set, and a microscope. Also, her Bday is a few short months after so, she'll get some of the things then too. Like the pogo stick can wait until then, as it will be closer to spring.
Aislinn just amazes me with her complexity. When I am having a hard day with her, I just tell myself that she is Aislinn. Her stubborness and her imagination, everything that IS her, will make her a success one day. This always brings me comfort.
Posted by S ::
9:59 AM ::
1 Comments:
Post a Comment
---------------------------------------
|
